here i lie waiting to die. a soldier a pugilist a samurai. being the greatest warrior known to man with the best biggest bellowing bellicose war cry. quick to step on toes low blows and gouge eyes for i don't care in fact the thirst for blood shed matches my blank glare which wouldn't blink twice at a carcass ridden with flies. love compassion intimacy any social interaction slipping the more my sword takes action. how could this happen? human beings or should i say being human is running away from primal urges before it consumes them. but me i run to it the fire in my veins flow so fluid and what others look at as mistakes i meant to do it. and you. All of you! who are you to judge me? pimps to the whores drug dealers to the zombies riddle with scabs and sores well aware of their poisonous actions still willing to trade their last values for more. or even better those who struggle paycheck to paycheck scrounging the last pieces of their self respect to make a mask to cover the acknowledgement of redundant nonsense they do for red cent in hope that nobody else will know of it. i am a warrior. with no paint i need no shield no Armour nor mask so that when i behead you thee irony of which makes me laugh. but believe it or not i didn’t always feel this way. but i cant tell if it has been years to years months to months weeks to weeks or days to days time packed away as clay for a road i paved behind me. for i once was once infatuated in love enamored with something so tender never lost its joy always there caressing me possessing power energy that would make me sweat no matter how cold when the world left me lonely. but when i lied and tried my hardest not to even though i had already realized that even this person place or thing this any person any place or with anything was just as tainted and riddled with strings like everything else I... i lie here waiting and wanting to die around bodies upon bodies covered in their blood I'm buzzin buzzin like the flies that drink the blood of somebody who could have been my couzzzin buzzin hell there’s dozens of bodies that could have been my sister brother mother father ants uncles grandmother grandfather. cry why bother im buzzin so now i feel this way and now the clay i pack away day by day months to months years to years years to beers beers to tears tears to fear. as i lie here waiting and wanting to die i lie I could run i could jump i could swim i could fly but I lie. I lie because i wont die i cant die because i am immortal tales of my self righteous carnage will be here forever.

I was born drunk and high Either that or I've grown accustomed To that state of mind  I don't understand why with all the knowledge on health affects  Still I can't wait to take another shot and light that cigarette  Living with regret why? Every one of my grandparents died because of the need to get high Whether it's the long term use of Cigarettes Or even a heroin overdose Both sides I Still I tried it  Hexed the first time meth touch my breath  Speed yes please cuz sleep's the cousin of death  With weed I am obsessed Doing any activity with Mary Jane upon my breath Mixing tobacco or coke with my pot why not  Cuz life only gave us this one shot yo Kids yelling Yolo I'm stick this tooter in your nose And rail a line of blow  how low does the rabbit hole goes why I don't have it  sky high I was born to be an addict  Amy wine house Chris Farley Jimi Hendrix  All great with coke on a plate so let me try it  tonight I wanna have a ball Adderol alcohol downing beers with no fear   my liver goes for light years no stall Even though I'm quick to give Molly and LSD a couple hits  My Inhibition wants to riot impulse on auto pilot Why just let adrenalin get you excited How cliche take family member away and I'm ready to play  The game who can maintain after a cocktail of narcotics to  Your mutha fuckin brain  Slammed into my veins How is it possible to live your whole life in a sober state? When there's so many drugs to take  I can't wait give it to me I can't wait Pretty good at consuming better try moving weight Let it escalate drug trade since the day of slave trade Every pill I swallow a hand grenade Every binge I go on a brain cell Air raid  But it wasn't always this way Easily lost in the groove  I feel like we have nothing To lose  Politicians  figures of religion  people in high Positions chose to expand the third eye vision But why do we get high Still doin pills an expensive thrill Picking off my brain cells  Like they're fun to kill Why do I get high Will dilated eyes Sprawled out be the look Of me demise Getting by till suicide  Why do I get high

Welcome to the gritty city absent of love Where we idolize villains or fall victims to drugs Some are foolish to believe in heaven above  Because we dwell in this concrete Hell being judged There's a conflict waiting around every corner Someone will gladly leave you as a gift for the coroner Life isn't always fucking fair so you can choose to break the rules If you dare just beware that security guard don't care about shit When he's stripping you bare  Judicial system is a bitch Just like the rest of life  Cuz everybody is down to get trife cuz dying to be rich  So its nothing to hit you in the back  With a knife on some snake bite shit So u gotta put up a fight If you a want a piece of the cheese  Play it peacefully or be part of the disease That forms in the hustle bustle The way it mutates and adds More people to the struggle The lower class cycle till society crumbles

Its like you've got a spell on me Sapping all of my energy  Big bright box glowing showing me things  That I want to see  Showing me what to believe  Some how you know what I need. Your so bright You bring my family together for  Only hours we spend time in unity  Our undivided attention synchronized In harmony Willfully succumbing to your power Entranced by The changing of colors and scenery The fine plot lines that wrap around my mind through my eyes the way a butcher would tie up a pound of raw meat Keeps me glued to my seat Your so bright The fibers that weave the window like screen that makes me want to scream  microscopic Dots of color that puts my thoughts in a headlock  Your so bright  I need you to be near  There's no reason why you can't or shouldn't be able to occupy every room I'm in. Even if I can't see you I at least want to hear.  Cuz even your sound is bright Bigger is always better  The sound surrounds me like thunder Makes me feel like melted butter  Wet and warm under covers Since I can remember we've always Watched each other And you've always been bright  You've taught me  Societal norms  How to be friends  You can be funny you can make me cringe your an aphrodisiac when I'm horny the list never ends Your so bright I wish that you and me  Existed outside of time  So that for all eternity You can bestow your wisdom Upon my mind Your so bright  Why leave you  I need you  To show me who I am  You show how to be How to exist Your my everything Your so bright

Gather round yall have u heard have u heard? Kevin Neal Siplin is trippin About of all things the use of the n word Now this makes me laugh hard Harder than the curb cuz this absurd nerd has the nerve to be Disturbed about a word that's been around Since we've been observed discovered captured Which ever one you find more clever It's been longer than any y'all can remember Now I've been up I've been down I've seen many things and have heard plenty sounds But no other word in the English language Is more profound Nigger Or if you prefer it. Nigga How extreme the you can change what it means By the simplest thing. White cats can't wait to recite their favorite Tupac songs Let it slip a couple times then make sure nobodies around to look in my eyes to see if its wrong are they? Or my favorite their defending argument on why they get the pass to say it casually when they're around me. On that note what other word has the Rules on who can and can't use it? Mexicans Asians can call me nigga but white people say it I'm supposed to beat him stupid. Another favorite replacing nigga with ninja You know damn well no ninjas in the temple practicing or listening to what your saying or any of your hip hop shit so I do know whether to appreciate the effort or find it condescending. Better yet my favorite saying. When a close friend or a supporter address me to show that were damn near family. Is myyy nigga See all my niggas down to ride for me I'm down to ride for all my niggas And a down or a real ass nigga is what u need to be But its funny you go back a couple centuries My Nigger was how they described us for property My nigger when we were essential tools in boosting the economy I had a homie in conversation say that back then the slave trade days they would pay top dollar for Strong brother like me not sure if that was fucked up or be taken for flattery NAS infamous mc had to release an Untitled lp because censorship So he had a letter n scarred from whip Lashing on his back bet u can guess What the title was originally Title track chorus n I double g e r we are much more but still we choose to ignore The obvious we are the slave and the master what are you looking for you are the question and the answer. That's what's up I appreciate the brother for this But then three tracks later He has a song comparing us to of all things roaches Awesome The main one that boggles my brain is why is there so much emphasis on cars called whips and our fascination with chains its like its being engraved in my veins brother Africa Baambata said the Illuminati is using hip hop to control our minds through propaganda and keeping us in mental slavery 24 inch rims and a mouth full of stones more precious than our blood and bones to keep boosting the economy pffft this niggas crazy can you believe some niggas believe that shit I had some friends come over And quote "why is it every time we come over to this nigga Neal house We talk about religion space and science an shit. We can't just converse about regular nigga shit?" End quote. I have since then made my conversations more niggerish. But in all reality its so simple Because the truth was told to me By a band of niggas with attitude And I quote "its plain to see you can't change me Cuz I'm a be a nigga for life." Its plain to see you can't change me cuz I will be that Black Nigger For Life